Choosing to get a divorce might be the right thing for a feuding couple or two people who just aren’t well-paired, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Separating comes with a range of emotions.
There may be relief and gladness, but there’s always some measure of sadness, regret, or even anger. Couples with children have a different set of challenges ahead. Whether their relationship is hostile or amicable, they need to move forward in their capacity as parents.
Let’s look at how family lawyers who emphasize empathy make a difference when families need it most.
Holistic Approach
Some divorce lawyers have tunnel vision when it comes to representing a client and act as if things like custody rights and a favourable asset split are the only things at stake. Toronto’s best collaborative lawyers make dealing with family matters much easier because they have a more holistic view of the situation, understanding that nothing overrides the family’s larger needs.
Balancing the splitting of property, assets, and custody is one piece of the puzzle. The children’s well-being is the other, and nothing comes before that. Accordingly, they lead with a gentler, amicable approach while steadfastly advocating for their client’s rights.
Starting off what can be a contentious disagreement with a collaborative attitude helps take the temperature down and helps both sides get closer to what they really want.
True, people can only control how they act and respond to the divorce and can’t control their ex-spouse. But starting with the willingness to work towards the kids’ best interests hopefully starts the talks off on a positive note and helps them end positively, too.
Aggressive When Needed
A family lawyer who believes in empathy can be aggressive when the situation requires it. As mentioned, clients can only control their behaviour, not their former partner’s. If the other side refuses to collaborate, an empathetic lawyer will still do what they always do: advocate for their client’s best interests.
In other words, the holistic approach to family divorce doesn’t mean that lawyers are fixed on only one specific goal — just the opposite. Such family lawyers will listen closely to their client’s needs and wants and pursue the best course of action accordingly.
Usually, collaborating at the outset helps both sides get what they want faster. If circumstances beyond their control force them to change tactics, they’ll be ready.
Help When You Need It
Divorce can feel like a double whammy. A person needs to settle practical questions that have a major long-term impact at the specific moment they feel most vulnerable. Having a client-focused legal expert at the wheel makes an enormous difference because they come at just the right time.
What does a person going through a divorce really need? Each divorce is unique. There could be a significant asymmetry in the divorcing couple’s earning power, assets, and more. Some parents have a really special skill or talent. One divorce shouldn’t deprive children of it.
Imagine a circumstance where one parent is a professional writer or musician, and the child has expressed a love for reading or music.
If one parent has substantially more wealth than another, there could also be a fierce battle over splitting the money. True, this could very well happen even if both sides were about equally wealthy before the marriage, but the point remains that when this dispute takes place, you need an expert experienced in these matters to advocate for your interests.
Ideally, lawyers should understand how their clients weigh things like custody, assets, and the intangible things that kids need from parents. It sounds obvious to say that all these things are important, and they are. But it’s also natural for people to care about some things more than others, and the person advocating for you needs to grasp your feelings.
Range of Services
Lawyers leading with a collaborative approach offer the full suite of services in family law, whether the divorce is contested or uncontested. Ideally, they should offer divorce lawyers for men and women (sometimes, they need different types of representation), family lawyers to remedy common law issues, experts to help you negotiate out-of-court settlements, and more.
They can also work with you to resolve disputes with a family mediator’s help. If you so choose, you should be able to unbundle their services and get only the specific help where you feel you need it most. In other words, the collaborative, empathetic approach can be applied to various legal issues you may be facing.
Kids of All Ages Struggle in Divorce
Many people think that divorce is harder on very young kids than it is on teenagers. While no two cases are exactly alike, kids of all ages struggle when their parents get divorced.
They may be unable to understand immediately how their lives will change, which makes them feel anxious, sad, and even guilty. Sometimes, they fear they are the cause of the divorce. Even if the kids are old and mature enough to understand that their parent’s separation is the right decision for them, they may feel a range of unpleasant emotions.
Parents need to find the best arrangement possible to soften the hardships and support their kids in any way they can. Empathetic, collaborative lawyers play a pivotal role in the early stages while the circumstances are new to parents and kids.
Divorce raises a lot of strong emotions, and it’s natural for parents to be on less than great terms with each other. Having a professional at your side makes you feel less vulnerable, especially when they help you and your entire family work towards what matters most.
When you’re getting a divorce, you may feel very differently depending on the circumstances. Sometimes, there’s just a mutual drift, and people separate amicably enough. There could be bitterness, betrayal, or even threatening behaviour. Either way, you’ll be experiencing strong feelings that shouldn’t cloud important decisions with a huge and lasting impact on your future. Hire a collaborative lawyer, and you’ll get excellent legal representation that sees and values the bigger picture in your life.
